Film chronicles trans gamer’s journey while touching on mental health, transphobia and the need for human connection
For one evening, on Aug. 13 at 7:45 p.m., Bellingham’s Pickford Film Center is playing “Break The Game.” This documentary film by director and producer Jane M. Wagner follows the story of Narcissa Wright, a trans gamer famous for her 2014 world record speedrun of The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time.
Throughout the film, Wagner chronicles Wright’s rise and fall from fame, her struggle with mental health, the underbelly of internet transphobia, online para-relationships made real and the universal want for human connection.
For anyone who deals with loneliness and the search for one’s place in the world, this film touches on what it means to navigate the reality of online living and the complexities of queer selfhood.
A modern parable of rebirth and self-discovery
This moving documentary is a kind of reincarnation parable. In the film’s opening scenes, we see gamers excited for the release of a continuation of the Zelda storyline The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. For Wright, the release of this game is her opportunity to regain lost fame after transitioning and to be the fastest ever to play the game. After waking from amnesia, the main character of Zelda, Link, first awakens in the Shrine of Resurrection. Director Wagner beautifully parallels this with that of being born again, this time as yourself.
The first words audiences see from Wright on her Twitch stream are, “I must surpass my past.” Link opens his eyes and walks out of the dark into a huge world. Open skies, vast waterways and endless adventure glow on the screen, when Wright says with optimism, “We are about to leave this cave. There is a huge world.”
Exploring isolation in digital and real-life worlds
Zelda’s awe-inspiring landscape of the open wild is quickly contrasted with Wright’s real-world isolation: living alone in her apartment, having no human interaction and surviving on a liquid diet. As Wright struggles with her crisis of self-worth and public validation, transphobia and hate fuel the decline of her mental health to dangerous levels. The loneliness she experiences with exclusively online interactions forces viewers to consider the dangers of connecting through only digital realities and the importance of human friendship.
When asked what this film could teach us, director Wagner wrote, “To me, the deepest moments of connection in the film occur away from the glow of the computer screen — although some of these moments were only possible because the connection started virtually.”
While the internet can be a haven for communities subject to systemic violence, some of the more beautiful moments in life are when we are truly together. For those feeling stuck online, Wagner goes on to write, “I also hope the film shows some moments of hope — particularly Narcissa’s relationships with D_Gurl and her mom, as well as resources for gamers who are struggling.”
Her favorite resource is takethis.org, a nonprofit focusing on mental health in the gaming community. Wright’s story is a cautionary tale that reminds us that each day we can choose to be with one another rather than our screens, and for Washingtonians, that might be necessary.
The local impact of ‘Break the Game’
‘Break The Game’ can be challenging to watch, but Wright’s story touches on issues many people face living in the digital age. The internet has given us ways of staying connected and paths to building unique friendships. However, it can also facilitate a dangerous and distant anonymity that allows for online cruelty.
According to the 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health conducted by the Trevor Project, 49% of Washington trans and nonbinary youth are at risk for suicide. Among the leading causes for this is bullying and systemic violence. This may inspire locals watching the film to thaw some of our social freeze and break free from the online isolation that may contribute to our community’s mental health decline.
Community engagement and connection
Pickford’s showing of ‘Break The Game’ supports queer storytelling while touching on the universal experience of loneliness. It emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and reaching out to friends and strangers. There is value in saying yes to getting lunch, touching grass and breaking the game in the name of human companionship.
Interested in attending but don’t want to go alone? Bellingham’s Queer Collective (BQC) is gathering for this event, as they do every week. Founder and board president Michelle Harmeier wrote, “The BQC is excited to partner with the Pickford Film Center in a couple of ways to promote the documentary, Break the Game. We promote special films we feel our queer community will connect with…”
The Bellingham Queer Collective has met every week for the last 18 months for movie nights where members get a discount on tickets. Folks meet 30 minutes before the weekly screening and chat in the lobby after the film.
— By Mickey Mann